Single Woman Seeks Revenge: Another Very Funny Romantic Novel by Bloom Tracy

Author:Bloom, Tracy [Bloom, Tracy]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2013-06-27T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

Dear Suzie

I have been living with my boyfriend for five years now and I thought he was planning to propose on my birthday. He’s been acting very secretively for ages. Disappearing for hours on end, hiding room tariffs for the swankiest hotel in Manchester in his wash bag, dropping phone calls on his mobile as soon as I enter the room and generally acting kind of nervous all the time. Anyway my twenty-ninth birthday came and went and he didn’t propose. Nor did we stay at the posh hotel. I think he bottled it because he’s nervous about whether I would say yes. I do want to marry him, so should I ask him to marry me?

Kerry

Dear Kerry,

He’s never going to marry you. The reason I know this is because he is having an affair. Mysterious disappearances, dropped phone calls and hotels only ever add up to one thing with men and it’s not a proposal. You are at that critical age when men face two choices if they have a girlfriend. Get married or have sex with someone else. Note this does not include facing up to the fact that you no longer love your girlfriend and that you should tell her. That would be far too brave.

So he has obviously taken the sex route. Now you hold the power because you know but he doesn’t know you know. So dump him. But dump him in style.

Find out when he is next having a liaison at this posh hotel by calling them and telling them you are his wife and you want to surprise him with something. I will arrange to be there waiting for him with a photographer. When they both arrive I will leap out and congratulate him on being the winner of Manchester’s Most Romantic Couple as nominated by his girlfriend Kerry. The room will be paid for by us and their photo will appear in the paper. He will wish he had been honest with you when he has to squirm his way out of that one and when he sees his photo in this column under the headline, Manchester’s Biggest Love Rat.

Suzie

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